F for failed

I can say that I had my share of failed relationships. I hate to admit it but I started young. At first, it was puppy love. Young and vulnerable I was, I felt like it was the most adorable feeling in the world until we came to a reality and broke up. Yet each relationship is different from the last one however it started or ended. And each time a relationship ends, it hurts in different levels as well. Believe me they do, coming from someone who had her heart broken as much as I did. But the total mystery for me is how the other half dealt with the failed relationship. Did they cry over me as much as I did? Did they even thought of me? Proving them is hard since men usually kept to themselves especially when it comes to their emotions and feelings. One thing I am one hundred percent sure though is that they do get hurt too or was it just their pride, machismo? Dealing with those feelings are not the same as girls do. Some turn to drinking with their friends. Partying all night with other girls. Others... "rebound" relationships. On my opinion, rebound relationship is the most cruel they can do as punishment or some sort of revenge. For one thing, it is totally unfair for the next girl who, I am sure will be hurt more than intended. Lets face it, we are total different when it comes to dealing with this kind of emotions and feelings. And dragging someone else with you is just unforgivable. Perhaps a reasonable amount of months or even years of "mourning" period would suffice. Probably it depends on how passionate your relationship is. Like anything you lost, you cry over it. Reminiscence the happy and sad moments. Kept the pain at bay until its no longer surfacing but locked away inside. The wounds somehow find a way to heal and left scars. A symbol of your broken heart, the lesson learned and strength gained. You can say it makes you wiser. But even if you won't admit it, this person have touched your life like no one. The intensity of your emotions will not be identical with others. The special moments you shared together will not be duplicated. And your feelings will not match anyone again. That is why you need enough time to heal before jumping in the wagon, as they say, again. So to those who just had their heart broken, give it time. Your heart will not stop beating, thus it has just indured one of its challenges which is I am sure is in no contest to the journey it will face after eating those chicharon bulaklak and litson while having drinking session with friends! Cheers...

Introduction

Finally I found my guts to start writing blogs. Four opinionated friends, who has a lot on their minds and are now ready to share their view to all. My first thought over this concept is that, am I ready to share all my thoughts to all people? Am I ready to give my opinions on topics I think are important to me but not as important to others? Sharing all this would mean to open up my mind to a whole new prespective. Accept comments and critisism not only from my friends who I've know for years but also even from someone I dont know who just happen to read my blog. I think I could live with that. Besides, a good critisism is what I need if I really wanted to be a writer right? Wait... I don't want to be a writer! Its just what I love doing... writing my thoughts. I even used to have a diary named Vicky. I love writing letters... love letters particularly. I don't write them for me but write them for other people. During my high school days, my classmates and other batchmates used to ask me to write them love letters for their boyfriends or even other girls. They would tell me their whole love story or what they were fighting about and from there... I will write the letter. Sounds bizarre doesn't it? When they could have just written their own love letters? But it feels more unreal to me since I was the one writing them. It was fun because I get to see them make up after reading "my" letter. Or make them smile just reading a note I scribble the last minute of class. Where does those feelings come from? I honestly don't know but what I do know is that I searched my feelings while listening to them tell their stories and ask myself what would I say if I were in their place.
So this blog is just another means of expressing my thoughts and feelings with words. I actually look forward to having this blog... it would be my way of giving my opinions without the inhibitions, I hope. Though, I have requests to those who will read my "thoughts"... comments but not complain... critisize the topic not judge the writer and by all means applaud not hold back.